Words Are Powerful!

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me.” Such a popular mantra and yet so far from the truth. Words do have the power to hurt and can have far reaching and long lasting effects on the person on the receiving end of the verbal projectiles! Long after physical hurt wears off, the sting of verbal abuse remains!

For example (and this is a true story) my eldest brother Ricky still remembers up to this day how verbally abusive our Dad was to him. Mind you, he never laid a finger on him but the emotional scars that Ricky wears like a badge are far worse than any physical scar could ever be.

Those words have molded him into the person he is today. Even after thirty plus years in the US Air Force and being a father of four, his conversations with me are always invariably about  the harsh words handed down to him by our Dad. Unfortunately the pattern has not been broken with him as he finds it very difficult to have loving and caring words for his kids.

On the other hand, words have the power to heal, inspire and compliment. When you’re sad, words can make you happy. When you’re weak, words can make you strong; they have the power to lift you up when you are down. Choose and use your words carefully and with discretion. Never use them to tear a person down or to spread negativity. If you can’t say something positive don’t say anything at all! Use the power of your words to uplift, inspire and encourage. Always!

Many times we may be in a rush and may not even recognize during the course of our day how many courtesies are extended to us by others. It’s time to slow down and be more aware of others around us because most of the time it is our lack of awareness that leads to our failure to recognize gestures of kindness handed down to us.

For example; I cannot count the number of times I have witnessed a door being held open as a courtesy and people just rushing through without so much as a glance at the peron holding the door. Doesn’t this get your goat?

There are endless small opportunities throughout the day to let others know you are appreciative of their actions. This will in turn make the person on the receiving end more open to showing their own appreciation. What a wonderful way to pay it forward! So however you say it: ‘Thank You”,  “Merci”, “”Gracias”, “Danke” or “Xie Xie” remember it will brighten someone’s day and may you feel better about yourself also.

I know that travelling has become quite a chore for many passengers but I never tire of the thrill that I experience each and every time I walk into an airport terminal. It’s so exciting to be starting out on a new adventure; even if I’ve previously visited the intended destination. Through my years of travel experience I’ve compiled a list of ways to make the whole process simple and enjoyable.

Always Arrive with Plenty of Time to Spare I always arrive with more than enough time to check in and get through security so I can be at the gate before boarding begins. One of the greatest pleasures I get from travelling is observing my fellow travelers and I like to be relaxing in the boarding area for this exercise. Not only do I get to take a gander at my fellow passengers as we wait for our mutual flight but I also get to observe those getting off the inbound flight. I enjoy seeing their various facial expressions; from the harried business man tapping out last minute memos on his laptop or Ipad;  to the mom struggling with toddlers, babe in arms, bags and strollers. One particular perk of being early is never having to run to the gate as the door is about to close or to be denied boarding.

Pack Lightly I have to tell you I have this part down to a science! My bags are NEVER overweight…this would negate me arriving with plenty of time to spare! The key to this is not having a large bag; I’m sure you know the more space you have the more stuff you will find to pack. I cannot think of anything more maddening than having to unpack my personal effects before the prying eyes of hundreds of strangers in a crowed airport in order to meet airline weight restrictions! Additionally I never check baggage unless I am travelling internationally! I cannot express how convenient it is almost never to have to wait at a baggage carousel! I step off my flight and breeze right out the airport exit.

Be Prepared For Security Checkpoints I still cannot fathom why with all the posted signs and placards why passengers still aren’t getting it right? By now we all should know:

• Remove your shoes and jacket
• Remove your laptop from its bag and place it in a bin
• Remove all change, keys and loose objects from your pockets
• Discard all liquids over three ounces
• Observe the 3-1-1 Rule

I’m always ahead of the game since I start stripping from the moment I join the security line. Recently I stunned everyone in the security line by removing my three inch, thigh length boots in less than thirty seconds! I also avoid excessive jewelry, belts and clothing with buckles. I am never that person keeping people from moving through security faster.

Have a Positive Attitude This part is crucial for having a great travel experience. Inevitably you will encounter delays, minor inconveniences and at times downright nasty people along the way. I always maintain a sunny attitude; due mostly to my absolutely love of the whole travel experience. I don’t think I ever stop smiling the whole way from check in to boarding my flight! We all know smiles are contagious and cost you nothing.

I also pack lots of good reading material and personal entertainment with my favorite relaxing tunes on my Ipod. It’s always a perk when I am seated next to a fellow world traveler who shares my love of flying and talking. On my last trip to Washington I met a delightful older gentleman who sat next to me in the First Class cabin and we happily chatted about everything under the sun for the entire hour and forty-five minutes of the flight. What a treat! Had I had a boorish attitude I would never have gotten to get to know such an interesting gentleman. Happy trails to you!

But deep down inside harbored in a secret compartment a deep seated fear of the unknown. Fear of success. Fear of failure. I also think that for sometime I suffered from a bad case of inferiority complex!

For years it was a feeling I just couldn’t shake. As a result, I fell into a deep rut of mediocrity, of playing small and not living up to my true potential.

I had been with my Direct Selling company for four years and hadn’t made any real progression up the ranks. It wasn’t  that I didn’t KNOW what I had to do to make my business a success- I was just too CHICKEN to try because heaven forbid I make a few mistakes and be viewed as a failure!

What was the turning point for me? NECESSITY!

“Necessity is the author of change.” ~ Tim Hansel

This quote couldn’t be more relevant for me than if I had authored it myself! I was placed in a position where I was forced to burst out of my comfort zone. I had switched Direct Selling companies and in a matter of weeks had a down line of twenty-two new consultants. You could have knocked me over with a feather! My first reaction was panic! In my previous company I had never amassed more than a couple distributors in my organization. What was a girl to do?

I had to put on my big girl panties and BE a leader to these women (some of them new to Direct Selling). You see, my fear of disappointing others far outweighed my fear of success or failure. I now had over twenty women looking to me for leadership and I was not going to disappoint them! I had to step up to the plate and BE the  leader they all felt I could be. I needed to believe in myself more than they believed in me.  I took inventory of my values and my strengths and made a conscious decision to show up and play BIG in my business and on the playing field of life.

If you are suffering from the chicken mentality, my wish for you is that you DO NOT wait for necessity to force you to become the person you know you really ARE! Recognize your strengths and take action on your dreams. Believe!

I loved the feeling that I experienced while I was there! Seeing the planes land and the passengers come off and walk across the tarmac was very exciting for me as a young girl. I made up a game of trying to guess where their flights originated from and what they did for a living.

I developed quite the love for the hustle and bustle of the airport. More than anything else what fascinated me were the flight attendants. I dreamed of being one; wearing that tidy blue uniform (the uniforms always seemed to be blue!) and pulling that compact , black travel bag behind me as I headed off to a new destination.

My first experience as an actual voyager as opposed to a voyeur was at age sixteen when I visited Martinique with the members of my French Club! OMG! I will never forget the thrill of that first flight!

That flight turned out to be the first of many for me! Two years after that inaugural flight, I became a professional model which opened up endless opportunities for worldwide travel for me. I cannot count the number of times I have seen that seatbelt sign come on or watched that safety video! Each time was just as thrilling as the last!

Six years later I got married (to an avionics engineer) and quickly thereafter became a mom. This never stopped me from getting on my favorite form of transport…I just took the kids along with me. I think our passports have more stamps in them than the Post Office!

Fast forward to seven years ago. We moved from New York to Florida because of some health issues with our eldest son, Ben. My husband stayed behind because he was unable to secure a transfer. I put my love of traveling on the back burner because I grew busy with PTA, soccer, swimming and the day to day activities of life in Florida without friends, family and for a vast majority of time, my husband.

In my mind, my opportunities for travel dwindled more each year as the kids got older and their activities increased. I did not set foot on a plane last year! (GASP) And in the five years previously, I had only traveled a hand full of times.

In retrospect, it wasn’t that I couldn’t travel. I chose not to! I was so immersed in being Super Mommy, Super Volunteer and Super Business Woman, that I forget about ME and my love of travel.

What dreams have you put to bed because you are caught up being everything to everyone else? Is there a hobby that you once enjoyed that you have given up because of time constraints? Is money an issue? Don’t let your finances be the deciding factor in denying yourself pleasure! Something as simple as a long walk in nature can go a long way to boost your positive outlook. This can lead to regaining your confidence so that you’re not afraid to rekindle and reignite any forgotten dreams. I encourage you to regain your BLISS! Pull out those forgotten dreams and dust them off. I know I am! There is lots of travel in my future…

It’s easy! Use some of these simple tips to help you get out of your bad moods:

1.   Get dressed. That’s right. Get up, take a shower, put on some nice clothes and jewelry and gussy yourself up to the nines.

• Studies have shown that your mood has a lot to do with your self-image. How different do you think your self-image is between a just-rolled-out-of-bed look and a ready-to-hit-the-ground-running look?

• By getting dressed and doing what it takes to make yourself look good on the outside, you feel better on the inside. When you feel better on the inside, your mood changes significantly and you’re ready to face the day.

2. Get moving. Exercise releases hormones that help alter your mood. Cleaning your space gets you moving and makes you feel better about your surroundings. It doesn’t really matter what you do; just get up, get out, and get moving.

• Many times your bad mood can be amplified by your lack of movement. Getting up and doing something, whether it’s exercising or even walking over to the nearest coffee shop, can give you a big mood boost.

3.    Read a book. Reading a book takes you to a different place and allows you to step into someone else’s shoes. Why not pick up a book by your favorite author and let them transport you out of your bad mood for an hour or so?

4.    Meditate. Deep breathing exercises and a focused mind can break you out of any sour mood. Remember back in grade school when you were taught to take deep breaths and count to 10 when you got angry? It was actually for a very good reason. When focusing on one thing and breathing deeply, our bodies tend to respond in a positive way by relaxing and releasing tension.

5.  Hang out with friends. What are friends for? Be around any of your good friends for any length of time and you’ll be snapped out of that bad mood so fast you won’t even know what hit you.

6.   Laugh. There’s no way that you can laugh and stay in a bad mood. It’s proven that your emotions follow your actions, which is why many therapists recommend taking action to cure things like anxiety and stress. Next time you’re in a bad mood, try laughing.

7.    Treat yourself. Do something just for you. You deserve it anyway. The key is to just go a little overboard and do something you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Have fun with it and make it memorable.

8.     Light a candle. Sandalwood scented candles are said to have relaxing and calming properties and can help soothe irritation and lift depression.

While there are many other ways to shake yourself out of a bad mood, the tips provided here are a great start. Try some of them next time you’re feeling down. Better yet, see how many of them you can make it through before your bad mood has completely vanished.

When I redecorated my room early last year I had no clue about the effects of color on mood…all I knew is that I wanted blue to be the central color in the room with brown as the accent color for one wall…I never knew why because green has always been my favorite color(my nickname in my neighborhood was Ms.Green)! After the room was completed and I settled into my newly painted surroundings I begun to feel a difference in the feeling of the room…(or was it in me?) I decided to do some research on colors as they affect mood and this what I found:

Pacifying Colors – blue, green, and purple — stay reservedly in the background, cooling, calming, and re-energizing weary spirits. Put them in rooms for resting and refueling.

Pale, serene greens slip quietly into a living room, bedroom, or reading room, hushing it with a whisper. Medium greens connect to nature, grounding and freshening the spirits of a home office, family room, or spa. Deep greens comfort a library, bedroom, or sitting room. But lime and parrot greens tend to waken and activate.

Blues and Neutrals Blues and purples work meditative wonders. Pale azure and glacier blues wash a room in coolness and unstructured serenity. Proud, strong blues work responsibility and contentment into the mood. Pale purple-blues prompt reflection and dreaming.

Neutralizers are the “noncolors”: browns, beiges, grays, and white. Perfect for neutral territories of the house, such as kitchens or baths, these colors bridge together rooms, other colors, and moods. They neither activate nor pacify; they blend, combine, and cooperate.

White, another neutral hue, brings out openness, airiness, and an expansive spirit. It generously welcomes other colors into a room, framing them and showing them off to their best advantage.

Activating colors , such as yellow, orange, and red, move forward, warming and cheering, and inspiring conversation in varying degrees. Red, the intense one of this group, sparks emotions forcefully. Orange applies less pressure, and yellow merely suggests. If these extroverted colors please you, put them to work in the activity rooms of your house. Ruby, raspberry, or brick reds pack a punch in entries or halls. Even people who can’t relax amid strong colors find a short spurt of red’s exhilaration comfortable as they pass through a brilliant hall.

Notice what they say about brown? It’s a neutral color that blends, combines and cooperates. The accent wall in my bedroom is brown! So without realizing I had created an oasis for myself where I can go to rest and refuel; emerging re-energized and filled with a spirit of serenity, contentment and cooperation!

What hue are you?

To Your Life…In Full Color

This is one of many self care rituals that I practice. I sit quietly before the boys awaken, sipping from my cup of tea and writing in my journal while surrounded not only by calming quiet but the wonderful aroma of Lavender Chamomile, an Infusion Aromatherapy candle.

This is the time of the day when I do my best thinking…when I create the masterpiece that is to be my day! There’s a special feeling in the air that is unexplainable…all I can say is that there is so much peace and calm just before the sun rises. This is both literally and figuratively because as the sun peeks over the horizon I am bound to hear my two younger sons getting up and wondering aloud; “I wonder what’s for breakfast!” After that I can barely hear myself think!

Here are some health benefits of tea that I found on the internet:

• Fights Cancer & Heart Disease

Tea contains antioxidant compounds of polyphenols that help the body fight harmful free radicals. It is believed that harmful free radical can lead to cancer and heart disease. Tea also contains flavonoids that restricts the build up of cholesterols and help with blood vessel functionality.

• Protects Teeth & Strengthens Bones

Polyphenols found in tea may reduce plaque, which lowers your chance of cavity and gum disease. Tea also contains fluoride that helps protect against tooth decay. Fluoride is extracted from the soil by the tea plant. This identified mineral also strengthens bones and prevents osteoporosis.

• Improves Digestion The polyphenols in tea help with digestion of fatty food by increasing the flow of digestive juices.
• Prevents Food Poisoning The catechins in tea are a powerful sterilizing agent, which kills germs and bacteria. Tea prevents food poisoning by fighting against stomach diseases caused by harmful bacterias.
• Look and Feel Younger Studies suggested that the high concentration of antioxidants in tea have an anti-aging effect.
• Strengthens the Immune System Vitamin C in green tea helps to treat the flu and the common cold. Moreover, the polyphenols in tea have shown to increase the number of white blood cells in our immune system.
• Prevents Dehydration Tea is a good source of fluid intake that replenishes lost body liquid. Doctors recommend that it is vital to drink at least 1.5 liters of fluid a day. Tea is low in calorie and it is a great thirst quencher.

Do you enjoy tea? Share with me what kind you like.

As a busy Mom of four school aged sons, I find it essential to have a daily self-care ritual which includes meditation and journaling as well as a sensitive attending to how I need to grow and develop. As life moves faster and with greater complexity, it becomes more important, but increasingly difficult, to take good care of ourselves. I encourage others to give themselves the gift of a self-care ritual.

What kind of self-care rituals do you practice? Do you think that self care only means taking care of your body? If you do you’re not alone…for years I felt that when I took a trip to the spa for a facial and a massage that I was practicing the ultimate in self care.

I have come to realize and appreciate that we need not only to take care of ourselves physically; but spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and financially…yes financially.

Over the last few years I have been fascinated by self care and self care rituals. Over the next few months I am going to invite you to explore with me the different ways we need to take care of ourselves.

I recently came across an excerpt from a book called “20-Minute Retreats” that I’m going to share with you.

“Supported by Water”

This retreat is for those of us who spend a considerable amount of time and energy taking care of other people. So often we’re warm and supportive to others, while we’re barely holding ourselves together. We can create an opportunity to take care of ourselves whenever we need it, simply by withdrawing into our bath. Candles, aromatherapy oil and bath salts, or music can all be added, but the essence of this retreat only requires a bath tub full of water and a lock on the bathroom door for privacy.

Step 1: Entering into Retreat -In a comfortably warm, very full bathtub, allow yourself to just stretch out for three minutes. Arrange a pillow or facecloth behind your neck for comfort.
Step 2: For a full fifteen minutes, allow yourself to be softened, cleansed, and held by the warm water. With every breath, imagine allowing the water to support you. Allow your arms to float on the surface of the water. Feel how their floating allows you to let go of them from deep inside your shoulder girdle. With every exhale imagine that your arms can float away. Use your exhale to similarly let go of your legs from deep within your hip joint. Even though your legs won’t literally float on the surface of the water, imagine that they can just drift off.. Allow the water to surround and support you.

Step 3: Returning to the World: In the final two minutes, gently begin to shift position in the tub, stretching and preparing to get out. Please move slowly and treat yourself gently as you dry yourself off and get dressed.

This is one of my favorite self care rituals that I practice every morning before my kids get up. It really relaxes me and gets me ready for the day. I want to leave you with the following questions:

1. What sort of self care rituals do you have in place?
2. How often do you practice your self care rituals?
3. Which self care rituals do you need to revive?

Here are four quick and easy ways to find inspiration:

• Use motivational quotes and affirmations. It seems that no matter how many times you read or hear your favorite quote, it resonates with you almost as much as the very first time you heard it. Adding to your collection will bring you an ever-flowing well of new inspiration.

• Find inspirational imagery. Sometimes you come across inspiration by spotting something in nature, like a beautiful sunset or freshly fallen snow. Other times you may be inspired by a photograph, an image in a book, or a painting at an art gallery. Sometimes the beauty of an image will inspire you to create something beautiful of your own. In the process, you’ll find new excitement and motivation to carry over into the other areas of your life. Once you find an image that inspires you, rely upon it during stressful or difficult times as a visual reminder to keep moving forward.

• Talk to strangers. A method you may find surprising as a source of inspiration is to talk to strangers when out and about. Because of the anonymity factor, people may actually become comfortable with someone they may never see again. Someone you meet by chance can bring you a new perspective on old challenges.

• Be inspired by the stories of others. When you hear someone’s story of personal triumph or hardship while standing in line at the neighborhood post office or sitting in the waiting room at your local doctor’s office, you just may be able to relate to this person. Because you’re neighbors or friends, it’s as if you have an instant connection. Their story could very well be yours, with a few different details. Seek out their stories and let them inspire you!

The next time you feel like you need some extra inspiration, try these sources. You may be surprised at how well they work to get you happily working toward fulfilling your goals and living the life you desire.